Whoa!

How fast does time pass? I mean to tell you, it seems like I've been home just a few days, but tonight it will have been a week. I still haven't unpacked. I have called a lot of my friends and even seen some of them. I also made it to the grocery store. I keep saying I'll download my pictures, and maybe I'll get that today.

But, frankly, I have bigger fish to fry.

My sister and her husband (not the ones in Jordan) are about to have their second baby. They will be going to Denver tomorrow morning, so I'll be taking care of my nephew Zachary for two days. I'm excited about this time with him, but a little nervous too. I must confess that, even though I LOVE spending time with this little guy, being alone with him often brings on the tears. Being alone with him feels too close to what I want - a child of my own! Although I can say with full confidence, and honestly believe, that God is in charge of my life, the timing of events, etc., I still mourn not having a kid. Maybe someday this will work out...

Meanwhile, I've recruited friends to come be with me - just to hang out, play, etc. Tim will come over some, too, and that will be lots of fun.

So, just be patient. I'll get some pics of Vermont and Boston, but not until after I spend my couple of days with little Zachary. (Little? He ways almost 30 lbs.!)

Oh, by the way - I have a name now. He calls me "Nini." I just about die each time I hear it!!! Could I love him more? I certainly doubt it. I think the appropriate phrase is, "apple of my eye!"

Home!

tired

had lots of fun

need to unpack

have about 10 friends to call

fridge is empty

laundry needs to be done

bed still isn't made

pictures to be printed

glad to be home

kitties are even gladder we're home :-)

pics will be up soon

goodnight

On my way out

Well, our vacation to Vermont has finally arrived. We leave tomorrow early morning. I sure hope this week can be restful for me, and especially for Tim who is totally worn out. I'm looking forward to long walks in the leaves with my hubby, quiet afternoons reading outside, evenings playing games, and seeing Boston for the first time. Of course, the autumn display of leaves in Vermont is supposed to be amazing, so you all know I'll love that! I'll try to restrain myself and not load too many pictures when I get home. :-)

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately, so I hope this can be a week of blank sleep, long sleep, and really rejuvenating time. I'm desirous of lots of quite - which I might have to accomplish by getting out of the B&B and going on walks, etc. I'll just capture my own time as I can. So quiet, time outside, walks, reading, beautiful leaves. Couldn't ask for a better vacation, really. Better go pack...

Morning

I had a terrible dream last night. I was back working at the library, and was visiting retirement homes doing PR. I saw Tim's grandfather there - as if I'd forgotten that he was till alive. A terrible feeling, but a wonderful reunion. Can't really explain how awful that felt, but it sure did. I've awakened feeling down, a little shaken. 

I greatly dislike it when I have dreams that are hard to leave behind, that follow me through my morning. At least this one wasn't about my mom - those are the worst. I'll try to just get busy early and get on with my day. AJ has been gone for 13 years this December, so I don't need to worry about finding him somewhere unexpected! We still miss him; I still miss my mom. All those feelings are real. What to do with them today? I'll put them in my pocket and try to scatter them as I walk along the day's path. 

Wardrobe

I really have very little going on. I have no deep thoughts rumbling around in my head. (Ok, that's not true, but I'm not ready to share them just yet....) I'm just going about my days, getting ready for a trip to Vermont to see the leaves, figuring out how to spend my fall. I did do one exciting thing today - I went shopping. :-) I actually greatly dislike shopping for clothes. You see, I am a little chubby and there just isn't that much out there for us bigger girls that is cute, stylish, actually fits, that I can afford. My clothing budget isn't very big, so I have to choose wisely. 

I did get a few things today, and those basics I bought have inspired me to minimized my wardrobe. Even though I don't have lots to spend on clothes, I have lots of clothes!! I keep them too long  - even after they don't fit, they have a stain, or a snag here and there. Perhaps when I get back from my trip I will take a morning or two and try on all those clothes. I'll keep just the ones I really like, the ones that make up outfits (as opposed to the items that go with nothing in the closet!), the items that make me really happy. I'd rather have a few things I love than this closet full of clothes that frustrates me! I'm not quite ready for "What Not to Wear" to come by, but I think I can take their ideas and make them work for me. 

Yahoo, I'll give it a go! That's my exciting news for this week. :-)