Extraordinary

Tomorrow is the 12th anniversary of my mother's death. Each year I wonder if I'll still remember the date in 12 months. I guess maybe I'll never forget it. Each year I think about what to do, how to commemorate this. Some years, I do nothing. What does my heart tell me this year? Recite the Jewish prayer of Kaddish? Release some pretty balloons? Plant sunny marigolds? Phone her best friend?

My week has been plagued with migraines, so I haven't had much energy to think, concentrate, mourn. I've been busy with a visiting friend (and having fun). My body and mind are tired. That all makes me miss her more. 

Time is so odd the way it smoothes over many rough edges, dulls much pain. Even this loss is lessened, but not eliminated, over time. I can't even really think straight -  I feel dull as a wooden spoon; I'm not sure what I want to say here. I do know that this afternoon my heart is heavy and all week tears have been springing from my eyes. My body knows it is time to take a moment and remember, grieve. Here's just a touch of Mom for all of you...

Carolyn Kay North

extraordinary woman

gentle

wise guide

funny

impatient

adventurous

conscientious

loved to laugh

my best friend

Mom