Start over

A new week begins. Half of me dreads it; half of me looks forward to it. I am worn out by a weekend of migraines, but look forward to a week with not very many commitments. I have discovered over the weekend that I am very self-critical. In a note to my sister, I twice noted tasks I wished I had accomplished, but haven't, and in a not very forgiving tone. I have such high ambitions for things I'd like to accomplish, so many ideas, so many thoughts running through my head, but I just don't (can't?) seem to execute even a small number of them. OK, I get a few things done, but it seems like the majority of my life is in the "failure" column, at least in my own head.

Why am I so critical of myself? Why is it so hard to accept that I just can't get everything done I want? My body, my mind, my time are limited. I can't just go, go, go. All right - I can do more than I do, but not everything. Maybe instead of having a list of things I want to accomplish this week, month, I'll just list what I want to accomplish and work on it without any time constraint, without any idea of when it will get done? That way the ideas get written down, I remember them, I have a place to go to reference what I'd like to do next, but there's no pressure to do these 8 things this month.

I'll try that. We'll see if it helps me get rid of the rather large backpack of criticism I'm carrying around!